Back in the Day: Fond memories of my dad surface on Father's Day

When the month of June begins, my thoughts turn to Father’s Day, a day with an interesting history. If you search the Internet, you will learn that Father’s Day was first celebrated on June 19, 1910, in the state of Washington. However, it was not until 1972 that the day honoring fathers became a national holiday in the United States. Today’s column was inspired by the June 10, 2003, Grammy Award winning CD, “Dance with My Father” by Luther Vandross. I ask you to listen and pay close attention to the words of this powerful and inspiring song. The words will leave you teary eyed with fond memories of your relationship with your father back in the day.

Do you recall the name you used to refer to your father? Was it dad, father, or pop? You must cringe when you hear children today refer to their fathers by their first name. I do not ever recall situations like this as a child. There was always the respect given to a father regardless of the circumstances. So on this day, Father’s Day, those who had a close, warm relationship with their fathers will take time to reflect on that relationship. Because of the manner in which many of us were reared, undoubtedly we focus on thoughts of discipline and respect. These are cherished memories unique to those of us who experienced them and were touched by them, back in the day.

There is something to be said for “old fashioned discipline.”  I doubt if any of us who are products of back in the day, will deny the importance of the discipline and respect instilled in us through our posteriors; usually by dad. As barbaric and harsh as were some of those beatings, there was something to be said about their impact on our behavior and our response. Fathers were not concerned with threats of reports to Family Services or similar agencies. Maybe your father said, “As long as you live under my roof, you will do as I say.” Perhaps it was your father’s look, just that certain look that made you realize that your behavior must change, just a look. I will never forget these infamous words from my father, “I brought you into this world and I will take you out.” Interestingly, none of us suffered from being victims of this old-fashioned discipline. If anything, those of us from back in the day became better people because of the life experiences that we received from the mouths and by the belts of our fathers. If only we could have bottled some of that good, old-fashioned discipline from the past, what a different world it would be for you and me.

You may not had have had the experience of dancing with your father, but maybe you experienced sitting at the dinner table with your father. I cannot sit at the dinner table on special occasions without seeing my father at the head of the table. While he is no longer with me, it seems as though he belongs there and will always be there. I recall the slow move to the dinner table by my father to assume his seat at the head of the table. Can you visualize your father with his head bowed blessing the food? Was your Sunday or special occasion dinner like mine, where your father gave one of those unusually long blessing of the food? Then everyone waited for your father to be served first. These were great times with fond memories that surface on Father’s Day.

Back in the day, as a young college graduate, my father gave me a poem titled, “A Measure Of A Man” by Mahatma Gandhi. Like many of you who have words, thoughts and possibly poems that have inspired you over the years, this poem has been a source of inspiration to me. It ends with: “Who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

So, on this Father’s Day, like every Father’s Day since 1992 when my father passed, I shall sit and reminisce about the good times I had with him. I will shed a tear and I will laugh at the fond memories we shared together. I shall thank him for being an outstanding role model. I shall remember the great lessons that he passed on to me, not necessarily by “preaching” to me but by example. Education, discipline and respect, as well as the belief in the power of almighty God, will always be the cornerstones of my life. These are not things that I just happened to come by, but they came from my father’s teachings, from his lessons. I shall thank him on this day as I have thanked him in the past for what I am and what I hope to be. For without a doubt, all that I am and all that I ever hope to be, I owe to my father. So, Dad, a big, warm back in the day hug and a happy Father’s Day. Just like Luther; I too wish that I could, “Dance With My Father.”